If I had an old crotchety white man as a twin -- 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney would be it. This is a man who sees the little things in our lives that can drive us all crazy, even when we haven't even thought of it yet. With those scary eyebrows going up and down with every bothered word, Andy lets loose on the minutiae of daily life. And this week was no exception.
"I like to eat, but I have a rule -- I don't mix flavors together..." Amen Andy, amen.
I too do not mix flavors, especially fruits mixed in with meats or salads. Ick. So when Andy speaks of the nonsense that is "Cherry Vanilla Coke," "Raspberry Ginger Crisp" or "Sour Cream & Onion Lays.." (Um whoa Andy, not sour cream & onion chips!) He has a point that nothing is singular anymore. Everything has to be a couple or threesome. It is as if the FDA has issued a regulation that all foods in the grocery stores must be paired with something else. That means you too, Broccoli.
"If things don't cost more, it [the food] won't cost more."
And what is the point of this? Like Andy, I believe its about dollars and sense. If Quaker Oats knows that they can charge us more for Berries & Cream oatmeal, rather than the regular version we were just fine with for umpteen years. They will. They know we are now too lazy to just add our own milk and berries. And here we are, stuck in this alliance of additives.
So the next time I walk into my favorite Food Emporium, I will no longer be plagued with the burden of multi-ingredients that do not belong to one another. I will be a purist. Only buying what is meant to be -- the original, regular version. Only the pure intention of what the respected consumer products company wanted to me to have before they got all greedy. Andy and I are taking a stand... Well, not on those Sour Cream & Onion Lays -- he's trippin on that one.
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I recently discontinued my enhance cable package and as a result, I am down to the bear minimum. Though I do not have HBO or Showtime, I do have CBS and upon occasion catch 60 minutes when the topic is one of interest. After hearing about Mr. Rooney’s rant about creative food pairings and furthermore reading, “On the Tele” I felt compelled to respond.
I consider myself part of a modern society that continues to evolve in every aspect of our existence. With this in mind, I find it rather strange that there are those who would like to stifle our culinary creativity and taste-buds to return to a pre-history time of plain oatmeal and plain potato chips. A self prescribed food hoar, I find this very offensive. As we watch shows like Top Chef and the Food Network’s line-up, watching creative young chefs twist and manipulate food to create culinary masterpieces, our minds are allowed to run wild imaging the taste and what food could be. Food has become a tasty and nutritious art form, mixing culture and textures to achieve what can be an orgasmic result. My friends, we are at the peak of a culinary revolution. There is much to be excited about.
And then, there are the Nay-Sayers. Andy Rooney and his bands of cohorts aspire to return to a time when food was simpler. My first thought is, who knew Neanderthal man/women still existed, but then my sense of sorrow and pity set in. Is this poor percentage of the population, not mentally inept to process multiple flavors? Do they get flustered and confused, when introduced to change? I bet, these are the same folks that enjoy hospital food and over cooked Polish entrees floating in water.
My heart goes out to this group, the “palate handicapped” or “taste bud challenged”.
Friends, country-men/women, neighbors, law enforcement and elected official lets keep an eye on this fascist minority, making sure their cries not get too loud. It’s taken us this long to get to a place of dried fruit in salads, citrus flavored meats and broccoli n’ cheese lets not revert to the past.
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