ANTM - DISASTER!! :)

ok kids, we're back and let's jump right in!

this episode starts off with Clark still sooo excited from her #1 photo last week. samantha is bummed, but she's not letting it get her down. marjorie is freaking out... she's wacko for sure... can't wait until she starts to cry... joslyn calls home for support and they say "try HARDER" hahaha excellent advice, i say! so very helpful :)

at a warehouse: Paulina enters wearing an ugly blue outfit... and shows off her fun sense of humor (i guess). the girls don construction gear and head upstairs for a self styling challenge -- fit into ugly clothes and improve them. lame. the CW keeps cutting to Marjorie talk about how she sucks at everything... is anyone sick of her already?

forget the challenge, there's more marjorie drama... nerves.... total baby.. tears. as samantha said: "welcome to america, this is how it is"...GET OVER IT, GRILL!

mckey wins the challenge ... wait, is she still in this competition? oh,right. forgot.

back at the house ... MORE marjorie drama. ummm i think i'm gonna mute my television and come back to this in a second.... this is cycle 9 crazy Heather drama all over again. oy... still muted. oh good. commercial break.

WAIT, speaking of commercial break... whitney is baking in a kitchen for her commercial this week!? WHAT!?!?! hahahah she's eatin' that cupcake. hahaha did she eat the whole batch? ;) another awful whitney covergirl commercial. sweet! :)

Photo Shoot -- Mr J appears as a monster! wow, that's the butchest he'll ever be -- EVER. girls are going to pose as "disasters" .. this should be fun :)

Elina tries to let go.. sheena's a sandstorm... clark is a blackout... huh? that's a hard one and she sucked on it. Lauren Brie is a snowstorm and looked hot to me! joslyn's a rockslide... snoozefest! analeigh totally worked her wind machines, mckey gets extra frames but doesn't need them, she's hot hot hot says mr J! samantha is a wave and totally worked it. she's cute, come on, right? marjorie is in a hot pink dress but has a less-than-hot shoot.... she has a bad attitude AGAIN afterward. mute.

next day -- alarm goes off and they're all nervous about panel... everyone except clark and samantha seem to be nervous.. over confident much? bottom two? we'll see.

PANEL
is tyra wearing purple mascara!?!? anyone? strange.
Marjorie - d@mn, she did well... grrrr
Lauren Brie - a tad pose-y, but looks pretty to me!
Sam - well done! guess she had reason to be confident
clark - ZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Elina - definition of ugly/pretty... girl is here to STAY!
Sheena -- she worked the sandstorm
Analeigh - winds.... had a great week. she's so cute!
Joslyn - i'm bored again
Mckey - tyra liked it, nigel didn't

which one is a DISASTER!?

first, best picture of the week? SAMANTHA! awww she's so excited. cute. the rest of them: Analeigh, Mckey, Elina, Marjorie, Lauren Brie, Sheena... it's down to Clark and Joslyn... who will it be? the winner from last week? or the just average/so so joslyn?

WOAAAAH, Joslyn is in! clark went from BEST to WORST! what a shocker!!! poor thing, she never saw it coming!! amazing. i love it when it's asurprise! the tiara at the end was priceless ;)

next week looks like it has much more of Tyra ... always a good thing!
can't wait. see you then!

Time for TWO to go!! :)

well, tyra, i've thought it over and i think today i wanna be on bottom .... just sayin' ;)

this episode starts back at the house with girl drama - sweet! Analeigh is bummed and Hannah is a total bitch to her. surprise surprise... off to lucky strike bowling lanes the next morning and they get their fabulous bowling alley high heels (does anyone else think they're super duper cute!?) girls are gonna slide and glide down the lane and HOPEFULLY fall down!! well, i didn't get my wish, but it was kinda fun to watch most of them do poorly...

now off to the house to practice and critique each other - AWESOME idea! after the walk-off, the girls start whispering... Isis says she's here to stay -- we'll see tranny, we'll see.

The Challenge: RUNWAY! jeremy scott designs in an old bank - portraying cat burglars? hmmm interesting idea. then the TWIST - the girls will be blindfolded - now we're talkin', CW, now we're talkin!!! maybe i'll get to see a gal fall afterall! Twist #2 - one girl will go home after the show.
Elina is confident, Analeigh - too sexy? samantha - HOOCH! Sheena - nice job! clark - uncomfortable? lauren brie whatever marjorie - what was she wearing!?! joslyn - is anyone else falling in love with her? Hannah - AWFULLLLLL!!! hahahahahaha Isis fierce, girl mckey - ummm that was SO carol burnett -- done before!
the winner!? Joslyn - foxy lady!! who's going home? Hannah. SWEEEEEET! Ms Sarah Palin is OUTTA HERE. cya toots.

Joslyn picks Sheena and Isis yay, thats very sweet of her. back at the house - analeigh is worried... bottom 2 perhaps? Commercial Break - whitney's covergirl commercial, riding a bike in the village? hideous. yuck. hated it.

next mornin' ... mr J in a tank top and shorts... it's more impressive than i expected! wow, nice bod :) photo shoot will take place in the back yard. the shoot is all about their eyes and SEXY nigel is the photog. delish. overall the girls do really well... it's an exciting shoot and i'm looking forward to see the end results!

Tyra Mail -- is anyone else tired of seeing the SAME photo of tyra carrying the big ol' letter? change it up CW! Isis calls home - she gets some great advice from her loving family ... oh please dont send Ms Tranny home yet, cause we really like her! (and she's in my top 3)

PANEL - TOP 10
Sheena - intensity, they love her Joslyn - passable, but nothing amazing Marjorie - wicked beauty Lauren Brie - HOT!!!!! girl is pretty! Isis - yikes, bottom 2 Clark - catlike! nice Mckey - beautiful Elina - pretty but they weren't thrilled Analeigh - pretty legs!! Samantha - she models with her hands HAHA nice! but jeremy rips her a new one for the runway show. ouch.

Who's gonna drown!? anybody else wanna bet the tranny is goin' home to the meatpackin' district? let's see... Best Photo - Clark! then: analeigh, lauren brie, sheena, mckey, marjorie, joslyn, elina.

down to Bo-legged and Tranny - who will it be!? Bo-legged is in - tranny, you're out girl. ah well! Isis, we still love you, girl, you're fierce and you can hold your pretty little droopy-eyed head up and be proud of yo'self!

xoxoxo
Tele Welly

MAKEOVER WEEK!!! :)

so the next time i'm on a hot date ... things are going well.... and we end up at one of our apartments, i think i'm going to walk into the bedroom, look my gentleman caller in the eyes with my best "tyra smilin' eyes" of course and say..... "you wanna be on top"? i'm just sayin'.

ok, here we go. 12 girls remain, but one has got to go home... ok so the girls get home and Tyra is in their place ready to throw a Princess party!!? huh, did this show leave the CW and go to the Disney channel? well, thank goodness Tyra is going to be a little more hands on in this episode - there's NEVER enough T. WAIT, wait, who's this hag walkin in the door?? and, huh? prince couture?? ok, i have to pause my dvr button and say this: the bitches who script this show are TRIPPIN'! i mean, seriously!? i know tyra likes to pretend she can act, but that was just embarrassing! oy.... was there a point to all that nothingness? OH, right.. makeovers tomorrow - the girls are gonna CRY - sweet :)

ok, MORE tyra craziness: she's the "Good Fierce Witch" ala Glinda .... "every girl deserves to be pretty"... in other words, tyra's just gonna get in a big ugly costume and speak in a crappy english accent. excellent :) a few makeover highlights .... Samantha went from long blonde hair to SHORT! looks HOT HOT HOT!.... clark "i might have brown hair but i'm still blonde on the inside" translation: i'm still the dumb blonde you all thought i was... elina: weave? really? red? really? curly? what the hell is tyra thinking?? Isis got some long pretty weave ... MUCH better weave choice! overall-enough tears to make me happy :) makeovers are a success!

the girls go to WalMart -- home sweet home for most of these white trash girls. perfection. Challenge: girls have to put on a "natural look" and then film a commercial. sweet... models stumbling over lines already this early in the season? nice! how'd they do? AWFUL! it was atrocious. i loved brittany's "come on down to walmart!" and i loved analeigh's "yo" at the end! hahaha. Hanna wins and she's like so totally excited that she'll be "online" and she can GOOGLE herself. oh good god. i can't believe alaska girl won - yuck.

back at the house ... brittany and elina's "yo mama" drama is old and tired. i'm not entertained.

the next day: off to malibu and a gorgeous house with the ocean in the back... GORGE-ALERT! modeling bathing suits... Analeigh and Brittany both are lacking confidence and seemed to struggle. Elina on the other hand has embraced her red hair and is totally hot on set. i'm SO HAPPY my #1 girl is doing well :) Isis - woah..... she better tape that thang DOWN!!!

and off to the judging room! thank goodness crazy Tyra is back on the screen :)
Sheena - she was smilin' with her eyes :)
Analeigh - pretty shot, but they didn't love it
Clark and Hanna - snooze
Lauren bree - HOT closeup. loved it
Brittany - oooh, can we say bottom 2?
mckey - pretty :)
Isis - ehhhhh. boring
Majorie - sheesh that girl can work it!
Samantha - the makeover worked SO WELL for her!
Elina - GORGEOUS! "extra special"
Joslyn - another snoozer for me.

Who will "sink" in their suit? it's down to... Analeigh or Brittany... who stays? Analeigh!
see ya Brit. you were annoying me, anyway. (did anyone understand a word she said in her "farewell monologue" at the end? oy.

Next week? RUNWAY!!! cant wait to watch these bitches trip all over!!! see y'all then :)

Tele Welly

You Wanna Be On Top...

Let us all thank our lucky stars that Tyra & Co. are back on Sept 3.

Don't worry... Tele Welly has the madness that is Tyra covered.